Eating (Not Sleeping!) my way around Japan—with a side note on Samurai

I need to get back to writing fantasy... but it's hard right now...

Shichirigahama Beach with Mount Fuji in the background. I swam near here today at Yuigahama Beach XD…

I really need to get back to writing fantasy… but it’s hard when you’re eating your way around Japan.

So, I’ve been here for a few days now and… wow! It is, in some ways, everything I ever dreamed it would be. The dream is true.

The feeling is there. The vibe. The culture. The food.

I went to a Japanese bathhouse yesterday. I got denied due to the size of my tattoo, regardless of having an arm cover for it.

However, I was able to get my way into a small gangster local one instead.

That was quite an experience. All I can say is that the old men there have no shame and no chill — with the various wild positions they sit in, gasping in the steam and flaunting their best parts.

That being said, it was an amazing experience culturally, and the healing effects of the springwater did much to soothe my nerves after the initial culture shock.

I will not be posting any photos of this adventure…

One other interesting interaction I had was there was this elderly man with a massive dragon tattoo on his back and down his arse and leg. I thought, wow that really looks like a Yakuza tattoo, and based on his age, tattoos were definitely not mainstream. I wonder if he was an actual yakuza. However, I didn’t want to ask this bluntly. So I simply said in Japanese: “Your tatto is very cool. Very big!”

He looked at me with a totally serious expression on his face and simply said, “The tatto is big, but my heart is small.”

I have been trying to figure out if this is some stone-cold killer mafia shit or something more humble. Post in the comments what you think he meant. He looked totally serious and didn’t talk to me any further.

Next, as I said above, I’ve basically been eating my way across Japan with my two good friends.

We’ve eaten a lot around Shinjuku the last few days, and today we visited Kamakura — the Samurai capital of Japan.

What do I mean by that? Well, I got a few history lessons today. I’m sure

The Brothers Krynn

will correct anything I misunderstood here.

But basically, I learned that back in the day, the Japanese imperial family ruled from Kyoto. They were sort of the noble snobs. The samurai served them, but were also farmers, and had their power base in this city called Kamakura. (Hear that, any farmers out there? Farmers are the original warriors and freedom fighters in almost every nation, I think. Even samurai. Even Robin Hood was a farmer!)

The samurai leader Minamoto was a total boss. He built up a strong power base and enriched Kamakura with many temples and fine art — to show the snobs in Kyoto that they too could be elegant and sophisticated.

Eventually, Minamoto established the first shogunate government in Japan. Later, other great leaders like Tokugawa followed. I went to the original house foundations of the man who transcribed many of the important documents related to the start of the shogunate state. That was pretty dope.

The people in Kamakura were really, really cool and friendly. It felt like Japan from the movies. From the anime. From the epic TikTok clips of local food vendors working hard. I had a great time interacting and practicing my Japanese with shop owners and people in the streets.

We saw beautiful, picturesque temples and ate so much amazing food and snacks.

Then we swam at the stunning beach where you can see Mt. Fuji in the distance, just like in the image above.

Here I met a cool Japanese guy who was sitting on the beech by himself writing in his notebook. I asked him if he was writing poetry, but he was just writing his own personal memos for his own pleasure. He told me he lived in Tokyo and took the train down today and hiked around all of the temples, to the top of the mountain and then all the way down to the beech, where I had found him writing memos whilst gazing out towards Mt. Fuji like a total Zen Samurai boss. He was really nice and wanted to buy and read my book Darkmaw: Yōsei-tachi no kyōen [A Banquete of the Fairies.] in English. I showed him how to look it up and we said our goodbyes. I left him on the beech, knowing I had another friend in Japan.

Overall, there was a definite pride in the people of Kamakura.

I have to say, I like it there more than the immediate area around Shinjuku where we’ve been staying. Some parts of Shinjuku ruined my dream image of Japan — like the really depressed Jirai-kei girls, listless prostitutes, and solicitors roaming certain alleyways. That whole scene made the spirit of anime and Japan feel false, fake, touristy, and shrill.

Yet, as I discovered in other areas of Shinjuku, Tokyo, and now Kamakura — that isn’t the whole picture. Those parts are the exception, not the rule. The true spirit of Japan and anime is genuine almost everywhere else.

It just shows there’s a dark side here too — as in all places around the world. This gives me even more motivation to get well and get back on my feet in my humanitarian work, so we can help lift people out of the mud and preserve what’s truly great in all cultures.

Funny side story with a moral lesson for those chasing false gratification:

Two nights ago, we met a guy from California staying at our motel. He asked what we were up to for the night, and we told him we were just chilling and going to some restaurants.

As we left the motel, he said, “Let me know if you have any suggestions or words of advice?” Something about his vibe made me instantly say: “Stay away from the titty bars.”

A haunted look instantly crossed his face. His eyes darted left and right, and he seemed to shrink, growing darker. He said quickly, “Ah yeah, for sure. Ha ha,” then waved goodbye and headed back toward the motel.

I turned to my friends and said, “He’s totally going for the titty bars. That was so awkward.” We laughed and forgot about it.

The next day, we ran into him in the corridor on our floor (yep, turns out he’s also on our floor). He asked how our night was. We said it was great — amazing food, good times.

“How was yours?” we asked.

“Oh man. I got scammed for about 40,000 yen at this sex bar.”
He looked super gloomy and asked if he could hang with us that night.

Apparently, he’d been lured in with a cheap price and somehow coerced into that huge figure for… something or other.

We told him he could hang with us, but he wouldn’t be getting any action — just delicious food and real conversation with the locals.

He instantly started distancing himself and becoming doubtful.

I tried to tell him it would be so much more worthwhile to chat and meet locals and find a great girl organically.

He said he’d call us. He never did.

He’s a fool. I’ve made a ton of genuine Japanese friends and connections in just two days. Some people never learn.

I wonder what disaster he will tell us befell him next, when we meet him in the corridor tomorrow…

I am not judging, just trying to help the guy out.

I guess it helps when you’re good looking, Australian, have an epic tattoo, speak some Japanese, and carry the unneedy confidence of a faithful, married man.

But hey, there’s a reason a married man is a married man :P

He needs to start changing somewhere…

Anyway, overall I am immensely satisfied so far and I really feel I could come back here and hapily live hear for some years.

Here are some photos! Enjoy!

Peace,
Alucard

P.S. I think I ate about 10 ice cream cones today, including 4 macha cones, 2 sweet potato cone, 2 lemon cones, 1 strawberry cone and 1 peech cone—still waiting for the sugar crash… It hasn’t come… Another Japanese wonder!